you traded sex for a burrito?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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