having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
