I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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