I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize