i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
