There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
