i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I booty called her while she was in labor.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
