What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
