Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
