dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
