Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
