Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
