Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
