This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
