I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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