I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
honey bunches of taint.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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