I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
