addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
