Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
