Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
