Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
