the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I should be sponsored by Trojan
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
