When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
