The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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