Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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