Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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