ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
