Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
