The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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