i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
