you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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