too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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