you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
