I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
