For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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