Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
