I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
