You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
