I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize