I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
