so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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