How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
