went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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