Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
