It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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