soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
