And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
