White coat. Heels.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
