Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
