I can't breathe out the right side of my face
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
