you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
