hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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