whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
