Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
