shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
