I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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