I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
