I just made out with a guy for $7.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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